Pain Adores Me
by flowermasters
Summary: Ivy stiffens, startled by the truth she’s been denying, spelled out plainly for her by the last person she’d expected. -- Another Bare fic. Rating for darkish themes and swearing. Sort of friendship between Ivy & Nadia. Reviews are love.


Ivy leans on the sink as she looks down at the small silver object in her hand. Small, steel, and gleaming. Strangely elegant, the way the razorblade looks, poised in her hand. She exhales softly and tugs up her sleeve, looking at the small cuts she's made over the years. Small, easy to hide with the sleeves of her shirt. Without the shirt – if she keeps it dark – they're nearly invisible.

She's about to cut when the door opens. She jumps, the blade slipping and making a nasty nick on her thumb. Swearing quietly, she drops the razorblade, and it lands in the sink, her blood dripping slowly down onto the porcelain surface of the sink.

"What are you doing?" Nadia asks, her eyes wide as she takes in the sight of Ivy's bloody finger and the razor in the sink.

"Nothing," Ivy replies instinctively, using her clean hand to turn on the cold water. She shoves her thumb under the tap, watching as the water washes the blood away, refusing to look at Nadia.

"Are you out of your fucking _mind_?" Nadia practically spits this at her, and Ivy closes her eyes, willing herself not to scream back a reply.

"No," she says quietly, without opening her eyes. "I'm not."

"Then what are you doing?" Nadia asks, her voice a little shriller than normal. Ivy opens her eyes, and she almost smirks at the horrified expression on Nadia's face – it really is almost comical.

"None of your business," she finally replies, but it sounds weak, and she knows it.

Nadia steps forward, reaching out with surprising boldness. She grabs Ivy's thin arm and yanks it close, staring at the tiny lines, some faded and white, others pink and puckered, crisscrossing over the underside of Ivy's arm. Ivy tries to jerk away, but Nadia has her arm in a firm grip.

"I don't believe it," Nadia almost barks. "You're fucked up. _You _are fucked up. You cut yourself."

Ivy doesn't know how to reply to that, and yanks her arm away with a vicious tug. "Don't act like I'm the only one. I've heard you making yourself throw up in the middle of the night."

Nadia stiffens and says, "That was a long time ago. Sophomore year. I'm over that."

Ivy glares. "Doesn't change anything."

Nadia drags her bottom teeth over her upper lip in a sort of strange grimace, as if this will provide her patience. "Don't try to make this about me, Ivy."

Ivy glares, tugging down her sleeve almost self-consciously. "Good point– it's not about you. My life has _nothing _to do with you. Why do you even care?"

Nadia almost looks offended for a second, but she quickly masks it. "Because," she begins, her voice hard, "I'm not about to let someone – even a total bitch like you – screw themselves up like this. Do you know what you're doing to yourself?"

Ivy tries to swallow around the lump in her throat. "Yeah, I do. You wouldn't understand." And of course she wouldn't -- Nadia wouldn't understand the thrill of the pain, the physical pain.

Nadia's voice is a bit softer when she finally speaks. "No, I probably wouldn't. But I know that this – this cutting yourself crap – needs to stop. It's not healthy and you're gonna end up accidently killing yourself." Ivy stiffens, startled by the truth she's been denying, spelled out plainly for her by the last person she'd expected.

She exhales shakily. "You're right."

Nadia smiles. "I usually am."

Ivy narrows her eyes, glad that Nadia is able to joke again. "That's bullshit."

Nadia rolls her eyes and leaves the room, leaving Ivy alone to her thoughts. Finally, she picks up the razorblade, holding it between her uninjured thumb and her forefinger. Carefully, she drops it into the trash can with a soft sigh, watching it gleam slightly in the light as it falls, before landing with a muffled clunk.

* * *

**A/N: It's official, I have _no _life. Third Bare fic in like, three days. And another extremely angsty one, although I'll admit, the premise of Icy cutting herself is pretty far off. xD Btw, this was intended to take place in their junior year, perhaps? So, yeah. Also, it was kind of scary -- when I uploaded this, the word count was 666 words. xD I about wet myself. Anyway, I don't own Bare. Review, please? :)**


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